In my Easter bonnet

Easter Sunday a friend and I decided to go to a beautiful Episcopal church on Fifth Ave. I got dressed for church, in a way that I hadn't done in awhile, and felt like my church clothes were quite out of date. But looking like pink and yellow Easter eggs, to church we went. The church was beautiful. I have always absolutely loved other houses of worship, the feeling seems so much more serene than the Mormon ones have ever been for me.

During the service I found myself wishing I was raised in a "normal" religion. I enjoyed the music, I miss singing hymns. There was a lovely calm feeling, and I thought, maybe if I had been born into a church where church is a positive influence in life, but isn't so suffocating, maybe I could have remained in it. It seems to me that many churches, such as the Episcopal church, don't have so much guilt and fear-tactics that I feel like the LDS church has. Maybe it would have been nice to just have it be a part of your life, and not BE life itself, a place I didn't dare leave till I was 30.

I know some join other churches after leaving the LDS church, but that isn't for me. Examining my beliefs didn't just stop at the Mormon church and leave me with regular Christianity, but instead an entirely new outlook on life and meaning. Even though I thought the service was great, I just couldn't get into it the same way. While I still like Jesus, I no longer have the same feelings and thoughts about him that I used to. And that's okay, I'm happy where I am, I don't think you need religion for values or to be a good person.

After about an hour of wistfulness, the service began to drag on, and my most prominent thought was how happy I am I don't have to sit through boring church anymore.