Time to get sprugged up old girl...

This post has nothing to do with the church. Just a story of my life, straight out of Bridget Jones.

This morning I was actually told that my eggs are drying up. As if I didn't know that already. I was working the flight to Amsterdam and I end up working with a straight man who asks me my birthday (so he knows my horoscope), where I'm from (he smiled like he knew all about me), and how old I was. He said he likes to know these things and then he can get a good idea about someone. Or get the wrong idea, I told him.

Later into the flight he starts asking me questions, attempting to be some sort of flight attendant psychologist or life coach. Do I want children? He then tells me that I better hurry up and do it. Even if it has to be out of wedlock. Cause my eggs are drying up and life goes real fast and I'm running out of time.

Are there 30 year old women who do NOT know this? Are there people who think I am just avoiding true love and the corresponding wedded bliss out of some sort of unawareness that I am not 19? That it is easy for women to find someone who you actually want to be with? I guess I should give him credit for at least thinking I have hope, but damn. Then he started telling me that men outside the travel industry don't understand and don't want a flight attendant. He said to stay away from foreign men, that they were not good for American women. He told me I also had an additional disadvantage because of my height. WTF? I am actually quite aware of the difficulties I have in dating, which I told him, but he didn't seem to understand he was being a complete ass.

You may be wondering why I listened to this for so long, but I think I was more shocked than anything. After I gave him a few scowls and told him he didn't really know me, I moved to another part of the airplane and enjoyed my New York Times. Till I started talking to another flight attendant. It started off well-bonding over Barack Obama, and conversing about our educational backgrounds, but then all of a sudden he is telling me to get a second job and specifically what one to get. You'll never make enough money in this industry, he says, when I mentioned my school loans. Don't you think I know that? Am I not aware of that each time I eat cereal 3 times a day?

I guess I was just shocked by the idiocy of some people and the complete lack of perception and sensitivity. I always thought the scene in Bridget Jones, where they are asking her why there are so many single girls in their thirties, and telling her she'd better get sprugged up, was just an exaggeration. But apparently it is not. It is my life. Now I just need to find my Colin Firth.

What is it worth?

In the past I didn't care about gay marriage. In some conversations less than a year ago I was ambivalent about it, or at least about making a fuss about it. And now, every time I think of the efforts the church is making against it, I get really upset. For the first time I donated to a political cause. Most people I know take the same position about it.

Except all the people I know in Utah. One of my friends, who I have known since kindergarten, has been sending me political emails. A vote for Sarah Palin email, then a link to the church's article on marriage. She obviously thought I would agree with her, as I'm sure her view is very popular where she lives. She has no idea of the changes in my life the past year or two for me, as we only go to lunch a couple times a year. And though I haven't shared anything with her yet, somehow I had to tell her I was not in the same place about gay marriage. I wrote her an email, just asking her not to forward more emails like that, and ran it by a couple friends first, to make sure it was nice enough. They all said it was too nice, so I figured that was good, I wanted to be non-confrontational. But now it's been 5 days, and no response. I'm sure I shocked the hell out of her, and she's one of my friends I've been the most scared to truthfully talk to about leaving the church. So now that she doesn't respond at all, I feel bad, and like there is a distance that may not be cross-able. And it makes me sad that I may have to choose between honesty and a friendship that has lasted for 25 years.

Could have been a good drinking game

Text messages on Friday about general conference between a friend of mine who is in a similar place regarding church:

Me: I'm headed out of town tonight. Let's do dinner Sunday?

Friend: My sister and I say let's do! We'll listen to Conference!

Me: I can only handle conference if I have a few drinks.

Friend: We could turn it into a drinking game!

Me: That would be radical. We could take a shot every time they say the word marriage.

Friend: We would be wasted!

Me: In ten minutes.