Mmmm...

I FINALLY had a good meal in Spain. Me with the crew in Barcelona after the beach. More pics of that day here.

a strange desire

Yesterday I found myself wanting to go to church. Not the LDS church, but maybe another Christian church, like the Church of England. I'm not sure what it was, maybe after listening to two co-workers talk about their beliefs in God and the fact that it was a Sunday that got me strangely in the mood. It felt like fall in Manchester yesterday, and I found myself wanting to be wrapped up, more emotionally than physically. I think maybe part of me also wanted to feel a closeness with others, that I have sometimes felt in places of worship. I missed that feeling that comes when everyone, whether a family, friends, or congregation, all feels a similar way. I have recently missed and mourned the feeling that I had something important to believe in, something that tied me to a god, and tied me to others. I haven't felt that way in an LDS congregation for years, but I have memories of it from the past, and felt sad that I don't know how to recreate that, or at least the positive elements of it. I thought about god and felt that maybe I could believe in something, but my mind just doesn't know how, and most of the time my heart doesn't ask for it anymore these days either. Yesterday I felt open to the possibility, but nothing really concrete came. I would like to develop some sort of spirituality outside of religion, and in some ways it would be nice if I could rebuild something semi-concrete, but I don't know how or if it will happen. I am not pushing myself. Whatever is right for me will come if I am open to it.

I walked around Manchester, looking for a church, but also enjoying the walk. I didn't find anything so I headed back to the hotel where I met up with my co-workers. We talked, ate, drank, and had a nice evening, and though we met just a few days ago, it was comfortable and warm. Which is what I wanted in the first place.

Why, yes I will have a drink, thank you.

Um, look how big these cocktail glasses are. Awesome.

I guess they're onto me...

I had another big family reunion a few weeks ago. Fortunately this one did not drive me to drink, and I thoroughly enjoyed my time with my family, especially my cousins. I decided to wear what I wanted to wear (which wasn't much, considering it was 100 degrees), and got no weird looks or comments from anyone. Fast forward 3 weeks later, and my grandma and aunt have been talking to my cousin about me not wearing my g's. Apparently they are praying for me. I still haven't figured out whether to just accept this as inevitable or to try to get them to understand. But hey, I'm all the way across the country, in my new place, walking around in my underwear with a fridge filled mostly of mixers and alcoholic beverages, so I'm not too concerned. :)