What if my instincts are totally wrong?

One of the biggest lessons I learned in leaving the Mormon church was that of trusting myself, trusting my gut instincts about things.
But I find when it comes to love and dating, my instincts do not serve me well. Well, maybe they do in some ways, but they also keep me alone.
One answer is to buy one of those "how to get, or keep, or pleasure a man," blah blah blah. But I find they are so full of traditional gender stereotypes that I just can't stand to read it, much less follow it.
The kind of advice that I actually believe is typically in the vein of "be yourself, do what comes naturally, blah blah blah." But that never works for me either. I do a pretty damn good job of being myself and doing what comes naturally, and I naturally end up alone.

Hmm...any advice that is neither of these options?